I know who I am, but at the same time I am always unsure of that I am who I think I am. As it turns out that is the way to being more open and free. The words here that are used are not of any beliefs other than my own. I am not a socialist, I am not a liberal democrat, I am not a new age hippy, I am not anything that can be labeled. Like you I am a person existing in this world living day by day, grateful to be here, but also seeking how to make this day and all days a little bit better. So we finally made it to Nepal. This our first time I Asia and thus far, I am totally blown away. So we have made it to day five of our journey. Getting here was the hard part. It was a long and exhausting flight that took us 32 hours to complete. We had two layovers in China which was pretty cool as far as layovers go, but we were itching to get to Nepal. When we finally landed in Kathmandu joy and exhaustion overcame us. Back in the states I made reservations with Airbnb for our own private studio apartment; which was a 25 minute walk to Thamel. I wanted to stay out of the tourist zone because I rather experience the life and people outside the bustling center. And it was an an excellent choice. We stayed in a safe neighborhood, that for the insanity of Kathmandu was really chill. We walked everywhere but that was mainly because driving in a taxi takes a bit to get use to. Nepalese drivers are in a class of their own. On our first day in the city we walked to Thamel. We left right as the sun rose and everything was still sleepy. So we had a chance to see the contrast of early morning and bustling afternoon in Thamel. It is true what they say about hustlers in Kathmandu but it only happens in Thamel and major tourist attractions. The rest of the city is very self sufficient and respectful. We walked and walked and many of the locals seemed kind of confused. Especially, in Imadol, when we searched for the Kathmandu Valley and google GPS brought us to what I can only describe as the suburbs of Kathmandu. Not being in the central tourist area was refreshing. Imadol or what we took as the Kathmandu Valley was full of elaborate houses and beautiful gardens and farms. The people seemed kind of shocked to see two white people strolling through their neighborhood. They smiled at us and watched us inquisitively. In Imadol, I got my first glimpse of how Nepal is inspiring when it comes to sustainable living. Nepalese people are hard workers. They exemplify ethics by growing their own food, make their own goods, and building their own shelters. It seems as if they sustain themselves as much as possible. It is only children that ask you straight up for money. The adults do what they can to be helpful, sometimes they will raise the price, but they respect you just as well when you call them out on it. My first observation was that no one here seems desperate, but no one is above asking or accepting help. Most importantly, no gets angry or upset when denied. It's hard to be a Westerner in these parts of the world, believe it or not you are rich in Nepal. Ten dollars american is equivalent to 1000 rupee. So can get you pretty far on 1000 rupees with the tourist rate so imagine being a savvy local? Amazing right? Kathmandu and Nepal has been through a lot socially and personally before and after the earthquake of 2015 hit. But it seems that slowly the people are working it out. Families are still rebuilding homes, brick by brick. Some families are still living in massive shanty towns, constructed with tin paneling, tires, and tarps. You can still see rubble debris from some of the houses and buildings that were destroyed. And in the aftermath of all they have been through, the Nepalese stay true to their beliefs. Regardless, of who has what there is someone at a shrine or stupa praying for the best for all, at any given moment on almost every street. You start to believe that they really might be onto something when you walk past these massive impoverished complexes in a dirty polluted city and find people still compelled by the divine. It shows you that poverty in a America is a sad state of mind when you see the poor people cleaning garbage and they all greet you with a smile and Namaste. We are all just people in Nepal. To me, Nepal, is the experience for a culture clash. In my life, I have educated myself vastly on many topics of social, spiritual, and environmental concern. Before we left for Nepal I was asked: what is your life's mission and purpose? It took a moment for my mind to find the best response, but I blurted out one word without hesitation and with word, SUSTAINABILITY. The excitement to be here comes with a mind wide open to new ideas of living sustainably in this world. And Nepal is the epicenter for leading the way for social and spiritual change globally. Since we started to realize that our presence on this planet creates a negative impact to it. We came up with the branding of Sustainability, and started marketing for this movement. In America it is all about what we can consume and purchase, FDA labeled processed organic food, biodegradable toilet paper, and earth friendly cleansing products. We have organic, fairtrade, gluten free everything, that has a label that tells us this is sustainable. But we never really ask the question of what really is sustainability? In fact, our conversation is pretty weak when it comes to the topic in general. We talk about what we can buy to substitute our triple ply cotton toilet paper, but never our actual use of it. When is it time to redirect the conversation of sustainability as a way of being? Sustainability needs to move from a commercial sale to a holistic movement. America is addicted to it moralistic egocentric habits, and marketeers are feeding on this. Our need to feel good about ourselves and our moral dispositions is an addiction. With addiction, you know its a problem when you need more. American consumerism is a blind addiction. The object is to need more, and once you put a strong moralistic concept behind it like Sustainability, well, you have another new supply to feed. To be better in America now is to be sustainable, but it is sustainable at a cost, and mainly the affluent have access. Our need for a better world comes at a huge expense. Which unfortunately, the disenfranchised and poor pay. Instead of using less we buy more of what has a label of sustainable ascribed to it with some colorful and clever brand of this and that. All designed to buff our ego make us feel as if we are contributing. Yet, it stands as a human diaspora, the more we buy into the marketed sustainability the further we stray away from our inherent connection to the land and people. We are so busy and don’t have the time or skills to do anything for ourselves. We rather subscribe to the illusion that we can just buy this thing or that product and we are doing our part. We don't think of how we can lessen our impact on the world and its resources spiritually and socially because there are no products that support this, because the profit margin involved in spiritual awareness is really low compared to the fear based reality of a dying earth and first world privilege guilt. There are three things that compel Westerners to buy or subscribe: first is fear, second is sex, and third is food. I think that's why I have never been successful at making it big in Western world. Love, hope, and peace are the last thing anyone want to hear about. Especially, when the world is dying. Our sex drive is overstimulated. And, damn it, we are hungry but we don't know what to eat. Who the hell has time for being positive and spiritual in this world of desire? Maybe the Nepalese, and maybe you, my dear readers. Nepal juxtaposes from America in a lot of ways, everyone here works, everyone uses the resources they have as best as they can. Sure there is desire and materialism, but not at the level like the American Dream Way. For example, In Kathmandu, every home was an apartment building for whole families. And the first level the ground floor is used as a shop of some sorts in most cases. It was bizarre to see so many, of what in America we call convince stores, all lined together in a row, everyone essentially selling the same goods, and no one competing with each other. I can only make assumptions as to the logic behind it. There are 3.71 million people in Kathmandu, and families are huge and family friends are long lists of people. Not everyone is a merchant, some families make the goods that sell at tourist markets, or the furniture which is usually upcycled old furniture with new laminate glued to it. If feels like everyone here works together for everyone to sustain. In America we always have to be better than someone else just to get ahead by those extra few dollars. Kathmandu is a beast of its own, with a large set of problems they are still staying to work out. It is massively polluted, both air and water, but that is what happens when millions people live in one place and there is little infrastructure to accommodate this due to massive governmental changes and natural disaster. For the Westerner it is obvious there are problems here that need to be worked out, and for the Nepalese too, but they aren’t buying and selling new products to be sustainable. The Nepalese seem to just carry on and work with what they have as they struggle to keep up with the rest of the world. But these are just observations, of city life in a third world country. We didn’t stay in Kathmandu very long, but it was a right of passage all of its own. The intended purpose of going to Kathmandu is to re-sensitize your awareness. As a spiritual pilgrimage Kathmandu is where you learn the basics of Nepalese life and the western influence on its culture. Temptation and comfort is everywhere and easily provided by the naturally hospitable people. Especially as a broke Westerner traveling on the cheap. Materialism is easy to get use to, you can buy just about anything for cheap at the super mega sales at the big store fronts or from the street merchant. Nepal gets amazing once you leave Kathmandu. It is a seven hour bus ride to Pokhara. And in Pokhara everything is much slower and chiller. There are epic views of the Annapurna Range. We are here in December so the Annapurna Circuit is off limits due to the snow and cold. But there is something else that is extremely special about Pokhara, and that is the rural communities and ecovillages that are higher up on the very gnarly mountain roads that provide even more epic views of the majestic Himalayan Mountains. Once we arrived via bus to Pokhara we booked a room at the Mystique Highlands Resort in Astam. Getting here was no small feat. The owner offered to pick us up in a Jeep, but we opted to take a taxi to the mountain road and walk the one and a half hour journey up. Our cab driver was not excited to make the initial journey, he was very upfront to say 1000 Rupee. We didn't haggle him on the price based on the look in his face. When we got to the juncture, we called the resort to make sure we were in the right place. Google showed that there was a road. And this is how we made Bharti's day awesome. Forrest showed him google map, and then he wanted to make the drive. He had never seen this part of Pokhara and well for 2000 rupee, he offered to take us all the way. Forrest was happy about this, because he hates long uphill climbs. So we allowed Bhakta to make the drive thinking, how bad could it be? It was a terrible road and luckily the little car was up for the mountain rally. Its awesome to share the experience of wonder with perfect strangers. Bhakta was navigating gnarly rocky jeep roads while rubbernecking the views. There came a point when Forrest and I were getting worried and were offing him to pay him to stop driving. HIs response was epic, “ No, I want to see the top! “. When we got to the point of no longer being able to make it by car, we were only 400 meters away from the resort. Our guilt of any car damage done on this off road adventure compelled us to pay our adventure buddy cab driver 3000 Rupee, and a memory that we could never forget. Our final stretch went from crazy car drive to epic stroll, talking with the locals and laughing and smiling. Then we met our second guide to the Mystique HIghland Resort, a yellow dog whom we named Maitreya. As Forrest reached for the phone to see where we were on GPS he appeared and licked Forrest. He started walking up the road and we decided to follow him. We are amazed when we rounded the corner and asked, “Maitreya are we there yet?”, and he pointed to the gate where our hosts were waiting for our arrival to the Mystique Highland Resort. And here is where I found my first true encounter with holistic sustainable living. There was everything we wanted to have all in one place. I had my first ever Ayurvedic Massage, and we shared an wonderful yoga meditation session with the on staff Oracle, Uvi. Everyone here worked together, to make our experience a total experience. The village is unified through this common belief. In America we don’t have communities like this. The rural villages are all interconnected by trails on high mountain passes. Everyone farms, everyone has their own cow or buffalo for milk, chicken for eggs and spices. The hard work they put into their land provides year round sustenance. Local is organic, and organic is considered traditional, and there is never a complaint there is always a smile even when they have been picking rice the whole day and are cold at night. There are no labels here, there is only awareness and respect for past traditions and new emerging ones. Especially, at the eco villages, where sustainable is truly not just a fad but a way of life. No one seeks praise or recognition, they are just living the life they know based on hundreds of years of traditions. In the rural areas is where the communities are very rugged, old, and extremely connected. The eco communities are a newer concept in the area, appealing to tourists and providing sustainable incomes for the rural areas. I would totally put that on the list for everyone who is drawn to sustainable living to check out any eco community in Nepal. Waking up and drinking hand picked black tea from a 100 year old tea farm. Eating homegrown barley porridge served with fresh picked bananas, that are growing only 30 meters from your room. As you stare at an epic view of the biggest mountains on earth. At our resort we have had the chance to be totally be present, and in the off season the only two people at the resort. We used this opportunity to really ask questions about the people and culture. Our dutiful host, Basanta is by far one of the most interesting people I have come across. HIs dedication to his community and to the land and traditions in Nepal is amazing. Bastanta is the Nepalese experience I was hoping to have. At the resort he taught me how to make curried vegetables, and Dahl Bhat, which is the best local dish you can have. When he allowed me to cook with him, and it wasn’t a 1 kilo this and a gram of that session. Basanta, was way more excited to share with me the culture of the food and his experience of growing the food. I really like Basanta. And he is an interesting guy full of so much positive experience. He use to be the president for the Shoree Bhumeshwor Lower Secondary School; which is located right next to the resorts. He no longer holds that position but he still does all the he can to make the school he envisioned for the next generation of Nepalese children sustain and thrive. Five years ago he spearheaded and changed the curriculum to an all English speaking school, that engages the village children in six subjects, five of which are taught only in English that is all for free for the children in the village. He rallied up supporters that have exponentially helped the school and village grow and adapt into a global consciousness while honoring the ancient tradition of Nepalese farming and village life. He took us for a walk up to the school, and you can tell where his heart was, although, Basanta heart is just pure love. The teachers were excited to see us and gave us a tour of the small but charming school. There was an excitement about all the work they had been doing, and all the plans they had for the future. Everyone was extremely proud to show us the computer lab that was donated. Although, at that point the internet bill wasn’t paid and so it wasn’t being used, the way it was intended. Obviously, you can’t be a Westerner in that position and not just pay the whopping 60 dollars, one day's budget to give these children access to the world of information for three months. And in the grand scheme of things that doesn’t even help the real need for science books and practical learning materials to help teach these underserved, underprivileged children advanced skills that the private schools in Nepal offer. Like most third world countries the villages are changing, children are growing up and moving to cities like Kathmandu, and Pokhara to make ends meet. Our own Basanta spent time in Malaysia as a machine operator to be able to provide for his new family. The point is that experience of him being away from his family completed him to participate in a way I have never seen a human engage with the world. I haven’t asked but that is what is what I believe is driving him today to give his all to his sense of purpose that is highly driven by all aspects of sustainability. His selfless effort to rallying up everyone and anyone to donate to build his school is inspiring to Forrest and I on this quest. In our hearts we have adopted this his school and vision and are hosting a gofundme. https://www.gofundme.com/lets-give-nepal-a-hand-shall-we It is so easy for us to forget about rural cultures. In America we have sacrificed our own small farming communities for the sake of development and technology and have implemented an aesthetic of our modern world. Here I am experiencing a visionary working to integrate technology with tradition. I am witnessing a man creating a peaceful and prosperous universe. Where children have a whole world of opportunities, families have comfort and togetherness, and everyone is harmonized with the earth.
This has not been week one in Nepal, and there are eleven more to go. I am feeling incredibly grateful and in love, with everything and everyone. Furthermore, I am blessed to be able to share this experience.
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These have been slow days for me. With the given gravity of my current life experience: sometimes, slow and steady and a wee bit boring can be a luxury. Our little lull, brings a mixed bag of feelings. I am excited about our international winter travels. On the other hand, I am a little uneasy about myself.
My life has been an interesting one. Sometimes, it's something to write about. Many of my adult experiences have prepared me well for the alternative of van life. Success is simple in this realm, it's a little dance that sways back and forth between calm and steady and fast and furious. And dancing is easy, watch your step and stay on beat while flailing. I have danced and pushed myself hard in the past, I have managed to do things without injury. I have been fortunate to have survived this long with the genes I have inherited. In all those experiences, nothing will be like anything in this recent chapter of life from now on... My current adventures have me kind of in a funk. November was spent in the Owens Valley trying to learn how to rock climb. As it turns out: I am not a natural adept. It turns out that my mind and body refused to work together in certain situations. Rock climbing is that certain situation and it tweaked the processing power of my mind. This is the first time in my adult life that I naturally sucked. This recent failure has me questioning everything I think I am. And as it turns out my life has always been slightly non-adept. My recent experience of failure really makes me want to change all that. So I have spent a week or so in partial isolation and silence putting all my failures under analysis. I believe it did start with my parents. My parents gave up on me at T-ball. I was the only kid who couldn’t hit or catch a ball, and I cried a lot. I sucked and they saw it. So they chose to just give up. I was never upset, it was understandable to me. I was the last of four children, and they had expired on their own limits of parenting by the time the my five year old T-ball league came and quickly went. After the first game, I saw my dad's enthusiasm and hope for me die. After that brutal day on the T-ball field, I was never told to go back, or even try again. It wasn’t just T-ball it was everything. Learning to ride a bike was different. Maybe it was because my childhood best friend taught me. But only after, my father, once again, could no longer try to motivate me. I kept falling and I kept on wanting to give up, but she didn’t. Nope, she wasn't having it. Riding a bike was the only option. She needed a co-rider for her new bike gang, and I was it. It was a tearful and intense day for six year old for Laura and I full of her threats to end our friendship, and scrapes on my knees. She would fiercely yell, and stamp her feet. Without her, I would have never of dominated that Strawberry Shortcake banana seat low riding cruiser. Ironically, my dad ran it over the same week. But that didn’t stop me from riding any bike I could. Until, it was finally replaced by a annoyed grandparent with a girls BMX, the Malibu Cruiser just like Laura had. Making our gang of two super official. The list of neglectful actions of my parents goes on and on. My family, well, let's just say is a little dysfunctional. I love my family dearly, they have been my greatest teachers of forgiveness, tolerance, and compassion. In my non-adept upbringing, I always knew the only way I could overcome the trials and tribulations of my dysfunctional family was to move very far away. It wasn't the disappointment or the crushed bike that compelled me. It was the possibility of finding something I might be great at. Fast forward 30 years. I live in a van, I can hike far distances, even at high altitudes, I have seen some of the most beautiful and remote places in the United States. I have had almost an 89% success rate at doing things. But soon that 87.5936% will decrease. It was in the Alabama Hills and I was on belay. I was awkwardly positioned on a rock wall with my pain stricken feet. The only reflex was to hang on with my hands for dear life because I couldn’t trust my feet that are now stabbing me with pain. Everyone yells, “trust yours shoes!, straighten your feet!”. I have shoes that are a size smaller in every way. I smeared desperately to find something to grip my tired and dying feet to hold on on to. My arms are burning to reach and hold on to the little crimp that is just a hair or two out of my very limited reach. I am only 30 feet up, and I start to think, I really can’t do this, this fucking sucks. But my belayer won’t let me quit til I get up to the ledge which is only 20 more feet up. I do it, but the next day, I didn't try again. I was too sore and embarrassed. I did try again a few days later with some bouldering, but not having a rope and being too weak, put me back into the disconnect between body and mind. I froze ten feet up on a boulder. It was the saddest situation I have ever been in. This boulder was so easy, like very easy, inexperienced children were doing it. It was like the T-ball of boulder, and once again, I was the useless kid in the outfield. As I balanced myself on the rock, up and over a mere 15 more feet seemed impossible. Not having a rope tied off to a harness really put me way out into the mentally unknown. People watched, and bless all the beautiful climbers that were coaching me and being super non judgmental. I still couldn’t do it. Once again, being alone in this failure was not an option. This one particularly, wasn’t as bad. But still, I had lost all that I use to believe was me: the lady who could almost do anything. But it is time to let the cat out of the bag, I am an introvert so I give a fuck about what people think. I balance the social anxiety well due to the fact: I am also extremely self involved so I really am invested in my thoughts as well. My recent rock climbing debacle really illuminated this contrast in thoughts and behavior. The difference with this current endeavor: is that this is something I really though I could do and I really want to do. I can’t really say that T-ball was my jam, so that may have been the savior for a lack of mental scars gained in that whole experience. Rock climbing was the one thing in life I have looked at in awe and amazement. It is the one goal that I want to do just for me and for no reason at all. The recent events that have occurred have made it clear: this is going to be a harder goal to achieve than I had once perceived. I guess it has been so long since I had experienced a moment where all my excitement and enthusiasm turned into a bruised dream. My failure at rock climbing was the first experience when I saw all my bullshit and it all spewed out of me like a bad case of food poisoning. I have never made so many lame ass excuses. I was no longer was that lady who gets it. I saw all my bad habits, all my flaws, and all my insecurity form together like the giant turd. The experience was very humiliating. Trying not to take the experience to heart is the real challenge. At the base of the crag I was lost in my head, paralyzed working with a slow processor of a mind. Rock climbing, psychologically tweaked me, this isn’t the first time failure danced on my soul, but this retreat would not be quick. To be out there at the crag, you are in an exposed area. I guess that is the appeal of rock climbing. The ground is just okay, but the view is uptop. Retreating on site is a bitch because there was no place to run and hide in private and fight slowly to succeed alone. You can’t climb alone when you have no idea of what the hell you are doing and you are scared shitless of falling and heights. The level of fear and insecurity is what I find the most fascinating with rock climbing. Learning how to climb made me more vulnerable than I have ever been. Trying the climbs, showed me how weak and unhealthy I am In body mind and soul. Learning how to climb, showed me how helpless I choose to be in certain situations. And for this reason I think rock climbing is fucking awesome. My rock climbing experience made me realize that I have never been really good at anything. I have spent a lifetime of surviving on being just okay. Maybe it's just my personality flaw that most lessons that I really learn have to be extreme. And I would beg to say that rock climbing falls into that category. Its physically and mentally challenging, but if you break away from discomforts, the fears, and insecurity it becomes yoga: union of body, mind and soul. My goals in life are pretty vague. Almost one year ago, I moved into a van, and stopped making those lofty five year plans. Instead of never having enough, I now have what I need when I need it. Everything goes day by day. And everyday, I am looking for some kind of Samadhi. I can only assume that's where my obsession with the desire to climb comes from. I can never stop stressing on the importance of engaging yourself deeply in nature as a way to reconnect to the divine. There is a way to be holistic in a world full of totalities. There is a way to be you, and it all comes with adjustments in the way you think. Spending as much time in nature as possible aids in this reprogramming of mind. Spend enough time out there and soon the social detox begins. Soon enough after that, your internal dialogue changes. And It is different for everyone. In my case, my life is no longer in search of passion, my life is the sublet burning fire of passion. There is something for everyone out there that can elevate us into a state of bliss. Sometimes that bliss can be found gently, and sometimes it comes with a bit more discomfort than one hoped for. Life from now on isn't being concerned with the comfort but focuses on the safe passage from a state of ignorance to a state of bliss. Learning how to accept humiliation with grace, pain with love, and disappointment with hope is the greater part of the experience. With rock climbing I am seeing it all unfold into the eightfold path of noble truths: Right Understanding, Right Thought, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, Right Concentration. But this can apply to anything that challenges you to push forward an elevate your self up. In this life from now on it literally means climbing up. We always come around in full circle. Meaning, we always make our way back home. Forrest and I have been essentially homeless since we met, yet, there is a place where we take our road breaks and get our adventuring in order. As we take on side adventures with some of the most amazing people on earth. The concept of home is a funny illusion. For us home is an adventure hostel in Bishop.
Since, Life From Now On means always being on the go for us; having that special place to chill is what makes life blissful and sweet. It is wonderful to have our little place where we call home base, and it is a place we both love. What makes this place the best is the fact that this is the kind of place that is willing to put up with Forrest shenanigans and my social awkwardness. Apparently, according to wikihow this is what a vagabond should do. Step #3 Find a hostel. http://m.wikihow.com/Be-a-Drifter I remember reading this article over the spring when we first started our adventure of van dwelling. I still find it funny and pretty on point. Although, we are not drifters, our van life places us in the higher echelon of vagabond. Since, we live in a van. It's a lifestyle that we are adept to, but most importantly, it’s our way of building a life that is independent, sustainable, and moves away from conformity. I would speculate that we may have even mastered van life, but that is just pure speculation. The truth is: living in a van is very simplistic and easy. Anyone with the will and tenacity for adventure can do it. Even if you are just adventure curious, you can totally get out there in an experience the wide array of beauty that this beautiful land has to offer. The hardest challenge of van living is the financial part, or to say it better, the illusion and power of money that can confine the soul's appetite for freedom and adventure. Every time we meet random people, we love sharing our story. (You know, the one that you are following now) We dazzle and entertain our randomly selected audience with the stories we have gathered on the road. We always get the same response, “Sounds Amazing!!! Oh, I wish I had the money to do that, but...” and our reply is always the same “But what? You totally can Get a van and live in it!” As a disclaimer to my brief little talks and lessons of van dwelling and novice adventuring, please remember that Forrest and I do not have or shit together. Well, just the conventional sense of shit. Maybe one day, settling down will be an option. But that's a long thought that seems counter productive to living this life now, or as my catchy mantra goes: life from now on. What makes us particularity good at this van dwelling adventuring lifestyle is the fact both Forrest and I are both used to living and by the seat of our pants, and well, that's what makes our partnership work. In all honesty, our combined interests and free spiritedness is the backbone of our relationship. We are blessed to be together, because we come from a world that tried to limit us in our options. To be totally romantic, we were both rebel outcasts, Forrest, he is the man's man, the dude, strong, independent, and smart as hell. One day, Forrest met little ole me, the loner, warrior, and witty as shit outcast. Since that day we let the past and the expectations we could not organically meet burn. We started off with nothing holding us back. We reached for dreams together. We overcame everything that tried to put a damper in our celebration of life. We did it by just loving each other. One of the big lessons we have both learned in this life: more money, means more problems! Finances are usually the killer of most awesome plans and dreams in life. Or at least that is the outcome of our impromptu surveys. Seriously, if we can do it so can anyone. Here is how we have worked our finances out. We have money we spend it, when we don’t have money, it's time to be a bit more cautious on spending. There were some times when money was really tight and canned chicken was our protein base at the cost of $1.66 per meal. I know it seems pretty gnarly, but those broke ass times were the best times as well. Going without money for a periods of time is great, because it gives you a greater perspective of how many fucks there are not to give about things that really seem petty and materialistic. In those times, we were happier because we had food, water and shelter. We had enough to survive without needing money. Plus we had all the time in the world to spend with each other in epic places. Being broke can teach you the value of real abundance without stressing and loving without expecting. The less you stress about money the more you seem to always have. The less you are thinking about money, well the more time to explore natural beauty and deeper concepts. The more open you are to the world, well, the easier it is to see how everything circumvents. Life moves in circles. In retrospect, this wasn't the easiest lesson to learn, and there is more to this lesson I haven’t explored yet. There were moments of questioning the sanity of this lifestyle, but those were just questions on how to live simply, since, we live in a world that indoctrinated us with the need to find comfort in materialism. Living in a van limits those materialistic wants, too much physical and emotional baggage will definitely cause some unnecessary drag on the sails of life. If I didn’t question myself and my intentions, then I guess I would feel like an jerk, and I tend to stray away from being a jerk. I have just turned 36, and for the first time in my 36 years in this world of possibilities I have finally let go of what I was expected to do, and who I was supposed to be. I just kind of started to do what I wanted; which made the world feel much more connected and my engagement with it deeper. Essentially, it works out For me because what I want to do is inspire love and cultivate hope in a world controlled by nihilism. In 16 days we move out of the van and take flight with nothing but a backpack for three months on a pilgrimage to Nepal and India. We decided to reach for the impossible, even though, we damn well know: for us nothing is impossible. And we both believe that when life gives you a doorway, for better or for worse, check it out. Finally, our doorway to Nepal and India has arrived and I am excited to share this journey. One loop has ended, and now another loop begins, and it all comes full circle to being here right now. Please remember to comment. I want to know about what you would like to read. Or as usual I will just keep on ranting and rambling on. Okay, if I had the extra money laying around I would pay for the professional Weebly upgrade. I am super excited that after much research and experimentation I have almost mastered the internet. Anyway this announcement comes with a big, big, I mean huge sigh of relief. I am making the togetherness happen! The thing about Van LIfe is that you have to be somewhat put together. I know, this is not Forrest's philosophy at all! He thinks I am a bit crazy and kind of a control freak. It all goes back to the same concept of Sariputra and Ananda and I am the Sariputra of our life situation I am pretty serious, work all the time and am skeptical. Meanwhile, Forrest, well he is the happy light hearted Ananda, he is the popular one of our friends. My translation comes from Dr. Robert Thurman so please don't take it literally. We spent a whole summer studying his translation and interpretation of Vimalakiriti and well we were very entertained. I recommend The Yoga of Everyday Living by BobThurman, Audible is the best source. . Also, I can't stop recommending the Bob Thurman podcast, if you are interested in Buddhism look no further, he is a pretty good source for the western mind. In fact, you will see a lot of references to him littered throughout this blog. We love Bob. Tibetan Buddhism is really what inspired our van dwelling lifestyle of renunciation and our near in the future exploration of Nepal and India. https://bobthurman.com/bob-thurman-podcast/ Oh yeah, back to my excitement and my victorious battle with the internet. I won, I now I have blog that I like to use and I just made it possible for everyone to to pick up the Life From Now On logo in some decent swag! I found redbubble today and the togetherness linked up, and you can show your support. I mean just reading my blog is enough for me. Thank you to the people who have made me feel like a blogging bad ass! I love all your support and feedback; which makes you the avid reader, even more badass because you are participating! I know I have some lofty goals with all this work I have put into this blog, but my intention is to inspire and motivate all you beautiful people whom come along to this page. In the future I would like to see more feedback, hear more stories, and share this Life From Now On as a reciprocal dialogue, and not just have me babbling! Love you all! My spirit animal of the last couple of days!
It has been pretty damn close to a year since we left. We have have driven close to 25000 miles. By the time we leave for Nepal and India for our winter retreat session it will be close to 30,000 miles. I am still amazed at the number of days and the many adventures we have had, and every mile I count our blessings.
We only paid $1,800 dollars for our 2002 Town and Country; which is amazing when you think of the longevity we have gotten out of it. Sometimes I feel like the van life chose us instead of us choosing the van life, but none the less the experience I have gained from living minimally has definitely changed me. It wasn't easy, and there were moments when I lost my shit because we were low on money and options. I have been extremely lucky to have the partner I have. Forrest, has been the one to pull us through the tough times, when I can't seem to plan a way out. He is a no plan kind of planner, and he has the ability to let it happen. This is in total contrast to my make it all happen attitude. All in all, we make a great team, and we know it, but our Utopia is sometimes a bit of a mess. I can’t wait to share more of our story, because it is amazing, deep, and spiritual. But that story isn’t for today. I still haven’t thought of the words to begin our story, because sometimes I wake up in my reality and it seems like a dream. Then I have to ponder: what is the difference between a dream and reality? I guess for now, reality and the dream have come together and I am experiencings some kind of bliss. Life from now on? What the hell do I mean? I am not absolutely sure yet, but there are no absolutes to begin with. So life from now is beginninglessness. One of my favorite spiritual scholars and inspiring thinkers, Robert Thurman wrote in his book: Infinite Life: Seven Virtues for Living Well “I have been driven by that sense of push my whole life, without even realizing it. Amazing! But if life is indeed beginningless, this means that my past has, in fact, been infinite. The future will be too. So if there is no big rush to get somewhere. I am mistaken in my compulsion. I can take my time, and take more care, to make sure to go where I want to go. What a thrill! A bit of release, a taste of freedom, no more involuntary pressure — so this is beginningless.” So yeah it's something of that nature, and it all open to the greater unknown as I am. |
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